From honor comes salvation
by ThoughtsAreMeantToBeLetOut
Summary: It wasn't supposed to be like this, they were supposed to grow old together. Songfic about how I would have liked season four Stelena to have ended (with possibilties for the future)


I've not abandoned my other multichaptered stories but I just needed to get this one out. Expect a new chapter in a couple days!  
This is what I would have liked the finale to go like. It's totally AU as of now because non of it actually happened but that made me want to post it all the more.  
Enjoy! Apparently songfics are not allowed and I had to change the lyrics in the story otherwise it would have been deleted! So, I advise you to listen to 'One sweet day' from Mariah Carey ft Boyz II men when you read this.

* * *

She drives the familiar road to the cemetery. As much as she wishes she didn't have to, she knows the road by heart. Every single person she ever loved and lost is buried here in one way or another.  
Her parents, her aunt, Alaric, John, Isobel, Jeremy and now Stefan

She kneels down at the beautiful ceramic headstone and reads  
_here lays Stefan Salvatore.  
Loving son, brother, friend and lover.  
From Honor comes Salvation. _

She can feel the tears threaten to fall and on days like this she misses her emotionless state.  
From all of the deaths, all of the people she loved and lost this is the one that cripples her to an unbearable pain, unable to breathe and function.  
This wasn't supposed to be how their story ends, their story wasn't supposed to have an end at all

"_Why Stefan, Why! Why did you have to be so stupid as to rescue your brother and get yourself killed? How am I supposed to go on without you, this wasn't the deal, remember?" _

* * *

She doesn't understand any of this. They were supposed to have a lifetime together. She was supposed to have forever to prove that she loved him and only him and now he's gone.  
Sacrificed himself to safe his brother. Again!  
Why did he have to do that? Why didn't he tell her what his plan was and why didn't he just ask for her help? Probably because he knew she would have tried to stop him. Damn right, she would have.  
She feels like half a person, her other half lying rested in a shallow grave between her aunt and her parents. She doesn't want to live without him, she doesn't think she can.  
Stefan was her anchor, her harbor, her savior and her home.

She never got to tell him how she felt. That she wanted her future to be with him, that she wanted there to be a forever ever after for them. She needs him. To be her life, her love, her partner and her all.  
Damn him, for taking that away from her.

And now she's stuck with Damon, trying to find a way to bring him back. They don't know if there's even a possibility to bring him back but she knows they have to try. She'll never forgive herself if she doesn't try to get back the one person who sacrificed everything for them. At least it's a little comforting to know that he didn't die in vain.  
Damon is alive and kicking, quite litterly. Silas shoved the cure down his throat right after Stefan saved him.

This is a real mess they've got themselves in. Just when she's beginning to feel like her old self again she loses one brother and is forced with the other one bitching and wining about being helplessly human. Seriously, she would give anything to go back to her boring normal human life right about now.  
She also understands she can't. After everything she knows and everything that happened she understands she's exactly who she is and where she needs to be. Dying, transitioning, being sired, having no humanity, it all shaped her to be the person she is today and the person she's still trying to become a little more every day.

Stefan told her he was proud of her just before he died and she wanted to say that she was proud of him too. Proud of the way he carried himself through the sire bond, proud how he handled her humanity less days, proud of the fact he stuck around. After all, she knows it would have been so easy to pack up and walk away, but he didn't. He gave her the space he thought she needed and quietly took a graceful step back. She admires that about him, his ability to always take the high road. She wishes she could do that, that she was as strong as he was. But she never got to say all those things to him, but she hopes he knows that. She hopes he knows that he was the person she looked up to, wanted to be like and admired most in life.

She knows she has hurt him badly during the whole sire bond and now she's probably never going to get the chance to make it right. For a minute there she considers throwing her ring into a field and let herself be burned alive but she knows Stefan wouldn't want that.  
He would want her to live, to fight, fight for her own survival. And, as much as he probably would never admit it, she knows he would want her to take care of Damon. Poor defenseless human Damon, who is now at the mercy of others and right now she is all he's got.  
He doesn't like that one bit, but he's going to have to deal because there isn't a person in the world who would turn him back into a vampire, especially not her.  
She feels that being human can be a good thing for him. Maybe this is his chance to redeem himself.  
Redeem all of the horrible things he's done and maybe try to be a better person but she knows it's not going to be that easy because well, Damon is Damon, human or not. She doesn't really want to deal with Damon after everything that happened and everything he's done but she kind of feels like she owes it to Stefan. He did get himself killed by saving his brother; the least she can do is make sure he stays alive, at least for a little while.

She doesn't understand why this had to happen. Why she's stuck here on earth when he's probably looking down on her from heaven. She wishes she just had one last chance to talk to him. Tell him how she feels; ask him what he expects from her and to plead with him to wait for her, in heaven.  
Do vampires even go to heaven?  
She likes to believe they do and she likes to entertain the notion that he'll be waiting for her when her time comes. She feels it in the pit of her stomach and in the veins of her heart, a love like theirs can't die.

* * *

She places the single red rose by his headstone, pats the top of the stone and gives a watery smile.  
They're going to do everything in their power to try and bring him back but in case that doesn't work she knows they'll still find a way to be together.

"_Wait for me Stefan, We'll have our forever ever after, I promise" _

One day they'll be together again. People who are meant to be always find a way. That's why she's sure they'll find theirs, through heaven or hell. They'll find a way. Because, true love always prevails in the end. She has never been more sure off anything in her entire life. After all, they have a once in a lifetime, epic, heart wrenching, earth shattering, heart throbbing, true love.

* * *

_Reviews make for a very happy writer._


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